A beautiful Japanese maple preens its Autumn plumage in my parents' front garden. A larger version of this tree, but with bright green leaves, had filled the broad multi-paned window of the Shoreline house where my parents first brought me home as a baby. And, to continue tradition, in the small triangle of soil that borders the edge of my townhome's communal courtyard grows a little Japanese maple…
The rabbit sighed. He thought it would be a long time before this magic called Real happened to him. He long to become Real, to know what it felt like: and yet the idea of growing shabby and losing his eyes and whiskers was rather sad. He wished that he could become it without these uncomfortable things happening to him. -The Velveteen Rabbit *** My…
Yesterday we buried our dead baby. This is going to be a sad post, so read on only if you choose to bear witness to a grief that is too often silenced. For those of you who know my family, my 18 month old son is perfectly fine and healthy. It's his younger sibling I refer to. January was a dark month for us. We had…
This was a letter that I planned to use as a blog post before Baby George arrived in the world. He decided to arrive 10 days before his due date, which might have been the reason it missed its original release date. However, all the advice I had for him still applies. I think it's funny that Relationships and Social Media seem equally important as categories…
Some conversations change our lives. Interactions with others make us take our path in a different directions. Some also encourage us to stay on our paths, but to walk with more confidence and courage. I have been so discouraged whenever I catch wind of the implication I must let my dreams fall aside to make way for what my little baby needs me to be to…
I love to make everyone happy. Now I reread that sentence and mentally insert “which is impossible” to the end of it. That’s the only way the sentence can be consistently true. I strive for the impossible. I love my family and friends passionately. I am an active member of my communities. And yet it’s delusional to tell myself that I can satisfy every social expectation…
December. My baby’s four month anniversary. Christmas rush. Maternal exhaustion. Guilt has no place here. It’s really the last thing I need. Outside my home, the frost sheaths the brave blades of grass that raise their heads. Inside my home, Christmas lights offer no warmth as I weep and share two huge, aching desires in my heart: to be a mother to my beautiful son and…
I surface. I blink in the watery, clear light of autumn. I cradle a small warm bundle of life in my arms and hear him cry for attention, love, and food. The reason for my long absence from this blog was the birth of my son, George Liam Stephens. He arrived early on August 1st, and my life has turned head over heels: In love. In…
James and I have discovered the sex of our baby. Ya’ll ready for this? As I prepared myself for this ultimate reveal—this all-defining moment—I realized the enormous importance my society places on gender. I have a pregnant cousin who’s choosing to not to peek at her baby’s sex. She told me that the question, “Do you know what you’re having?” irks her. She wants to answer,…